MAGDALENE by FKA twigs
While on a road trip at the beginning of January with two of my closest friends, I listened to FKA Twigs’ MAGDALENE front to back for the first time. Holding my best friend’s hand in the passenger’s seat the entire time, this album effectively broke my heart over and over again. Pouring out everything she had into this piece of art, FKA Twigs reflects upon the ruin and destruction of a relationship and her experience with divorce. It’s clear that MAGDALENE was made to help her cope with the destruction of her marriage.
On the first track, “thousand eyes,” “If I walk out the door, it starts our last goodbye” repeat like verses of a hymnal tracked with the pace of a funeral march. There’s an emptiness to Twigs’ voice which, when coupled with the beat, sets the tone for every following song. This first song is simply the threat of change, the beginning of the end, foreshadowing the destruction to come. Towards the final seconds of the song, her voice becomes warbled and reminiscent of the watery voice that comes with tears. She knows this is the end.
Progressing to “home with you,” the standout track on the album, FKA Twigs’ just wants to be there for her husband. It’s biting and painful. She’d like to fix everything for him. Twigs’ voice becomes stronger and more powerful here. Twigs loses the papery soprano and tearful voice in “thousand eyes” and gives the listener chills. She belts, “I didn’t know that you were lonely if you’d have just told me, I’d be home with you.” Twigs is saying that sometimes, it’s easier to just say that she’s lonely and that she needs something. But, she finds herself getting caught up and is having difficulty actually saying the words.
Following “home with you,” “sad day” is Twigs watching her lover slowly drift away and wondering if he’d be willing to give her another chance even though she’d understand because she’s already hurt him. This song is a prayer for Twigs, “Would you make a wish on my love?” She wants to know if he’d try again even though she’s already hurt him. It’s her last wish before her relationship falls apart.
“holy terrain” is the only banger on the album and contains the only feature. Here, Twigs is searching for a lover who can love her how she deserves to be loved. She’s in search of someone who can hold his own, stand up in her holy terrain. It’s powerful. Twigs is willing to give her all to ensure that she can be fulfilled in every way. Future features on “holy terrain” with a verse on his downfalls as a man, how he’s sorry for what he’s done and asking for healing. When coupled with the feminist power of Twigs voice, Future’s rap turns the song into something transcendental.
Even though multiple tracks contain references to God and prayer the title track, “mary magdalene,” is the most biblical. It’s a beautiful song but, it’s tainted by anger. Twigs’ uses Mary and Jesus’ relationship to illustrate her own relationship. She feels as if she’s your right hand and takes care of you but, somehow she’s still lesser. Her rage is reflected in the repetitive line, “You didn’t hear me.”
Further emphasizing the feeling of being an outsider and being lesser, “fallen alien” is even more full of rage and is far less gorgeous than everything that came before. This is the first of 3 songs on MAGDALENE that fall flat for me. I appreciate the sentiment and as part of the whole, “fallen alien” is important. But I don’t gravitate to it the same way I do for the rest of the tracks on the album. This song becomes almost punk, she doesn’t have her haunting vocals. It’s the culmination of feeling like an outsider and feeling lost.
“mirrored heart” is another which I don’t find appealing. To Twigs, her mirrored heart is when her lover is a “true reflection of herself.” I adore this track because I’ve felt heartbreak like this. Twigs has found someone who simply feels like herself and it’s difficult for her to lose it. She can tell him anything and he’ll understand. It’s lovely but, at 4 minutes and 30 seconds, “mirrored heart” drags on too long.
Unlike “fallen alien” and “mirrored heart,” “daybed” is a song that I personally cannot appreciate. It’s a song that discusses Twigs’ experience with depression. It’s long, repetitive, and heavy. Everything is slightly dizzying and incredibly slow. It’s the only song on MAGDALENE where Twigs wallows in her own sadness.
The final track on the album, “cellophane” comes across as a soft piano ballad, but the song hides a greater underlying message. Cellophane is a clear packing material and Twigs uses it as a metaphor for her relationship, which is so vulnerable to the media. Twigs sings, “But I just want to feel you’re there and I don’t want to have to share our love.” This song is saying goodbye to her relationship and to the hurt. It solidifies the hurt and pain from all of MAGDALENE.
There is no resolution from this album. It has a hollow feeling which is reflective of the emotional distress that accompanies the feeling of loss. Twigs once said that she didn’t realize heartbreak could be so all-consuming and each song on MAGDALENE emphasizes that.
– Ellie Haljun